i have a big week ahead of me and so little motivation.
it's pretty lame.
we had ojk practice yesterday and we sounded good.
here is something that is bothering me. yesterday we recieved an email from an a & r company who said they were interested in our (ojk's) music. this is not a definite thing but they said that for some bands this is the first step to making it big. first of all this is not a guranteed thing and basically if we wanted to do this we would have to drop everything and pursue the band and even thn there is no gurantee that we will make it. so those are the given circumstances.
here is the thing. this is coming after the fact that we have all come to terms with the fact that ojk is ending.
there are so many things going through my head. i will express them in outline form
1. why couldn't this have come earlier.
a. if this could have come a year ago we could have taken this more seriously.
2. if this is real this is a dream come true.
a. i could make it in a band that i enjoy
3. is this real? there is no gurantee
4. i don't think ojk is capable of dropping everything. we don't have enough clout
5. do i actually want to be in a band for the rest of my life
a. yes i do. i love making music and i could be happy.
b. no, i don't know what i want to do
c. i don't know what i want in life.
those are just a few things that are running through my mind. add about 10 more complications to each thought and you have what is running through my mind right now.
and this all comes after we had all gotten comfortable with where ojk is going.
i need to pray about his more.
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2 comments:
Scary thoughts, all of them. Scary, exciting, confusing, awesome, inspiring, terrorfying thoughts.
hey
i tried to send an email to your dordt address, but it returned to me today. so, i went to facebook and then i saw your blog thing and thought, hey, i havent been there in a while. and so here i am. and i enjoyed greatly what you have written, and empathize with your concerns.
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