so i already typed this blog once and my computer totally locked up and i was very very mad.
i will start again and try to remember as much as i can.
it's tuesday, it's getting cold, and i'm in a pretty bad mood
bacically i think that i am feeling very tense again about my future.
there are several aspects of my future that are freaking me out
1. my future occupation. the way things are going now, i am going to be leading youth to Christ. this scares me in a big way. i do not feel prepared to tell children how they should and should not worship our Lord when i still don't have a good handle on it myself. lately i have been reading a lot about pastors getting burnt out because they care too much. i already feel burnt out and i have not even started my career.
2. the band. i love ojk and i love every member more than i can say, but i feel i have been thinking way too far into the future. the thouhgt of us disbanding within the next 2 years keeps coming to mind and it sucks because a lot can happen in 2 years. i am afraid that i will be the one holding the band back because i will still be in college and i don't want to drop out unless i am pretty convinced that it will work. i am living here this summer to pursue ojk things which transitions into...
3. my future away from home. i am a little kid at heart who hates being away from home. i feel like college is like a summer camp and pretty soon i will get to go home and remeber how much i love my family. well this summer i have decided to live in sioux center. my immediate concern getting a job. i have applied at hope haven and have not heard back from them yet. i am getting discouraged. concern number 2, living away from home. as stated earlier.
4. my future at dordt college. i don't know why this is a concern it is just something that comes up when me and my mind converse.
musical choice of the blog:
bad mood music of course: as i lay dying- shadows are security
p.s. for those who do not pay any attention to great things at all, shamrock won the white rapper show. i was pumped.
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5 comments:
Isn't it spelled $hamrock? I hate thinking about the future. I mean, it somewhat excites me wondering where I will be but it also scares me a lot. Bands are hard too. Who knows how committed the other members are or how long to try it before giving up. Nice blog. STEP OFF! (mc serch)
The fact that OJK even stands a chance at 'making it' is amazing, although I dunno if its reached that point yet. And at the very least, there's 2 years to figure it out, right? If its still up in the air then, I think it'd be hard to justify still chasing it.
You could always be a hobo, riding the rails, playing hobo songs on your hobo guitar eating hobo canned foods with your hobo buck knife. I'd suggest you learn to spin tales and play the harmonica first. You could lead young hobo children to Christ.
I love you.
we should start a band together
wait... too late!
p.s. aspect 1, line 3, the 'c' in Christ is capitalized. Not that it should't be.
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