your words hit like a train and i can't ignore it

hello readers.
out of fairness to you all i have decided to post a blog.
the semester is a little busier than it seemed earlier. the play, classes, and various other activities are robing me of my free time. it's not too terrible because i am enjoying all of my classes. currently my favorite class would have to be calvin's institutes. it is pretty incredible to think that one man spent his whole life studying Christianity and was able to write such an incredible reflection on his studies.
i continue to become interested in new things. have become obsessed with skateboarding again. i purchased a board and me and a few roomates went out and did some extreme stunts.

this is a photo of me doing a lovely board slide.
tonight is my the first actual youth group meeting for my internship. it is weird because i'm not really nervous i'm just straight up scared. this intership is going to have a heavy impact on my future. if i hate it i probably will want to consider pursuing a new field. i'm sure that God will have his hand with me and i won't hate it.
the play is going well. tristate break is next week and i will be staying at dordt to work on the show. it should be a good time.
i certainly do miss some dear friends who are no longer at dordt. please come back and visit friends.

here is a picture of nick doing a sick trick and kenny watching in amazement.

skate or die bros.

all fallen leaves should curse their branches.

i have again failed to blog for a long time.
if you read this in an attempt to keep up with my life there is going to be a big chunk missing because i don't feel like trying to creatively express the last month or 2.
i will go over one important note with you:
the benedict affair's new cd "with more class" is now available and if you wish to acquire a copy contact me.
if you wish to hear some tracks there should be a link to your right.
classes have resumed and dordt is buzzing with life. initially i was slightly unenthused with the return of friends. i guess i got so used to having the campus to myself that it was weird seeing people here again.

i like to give myself a few goals at the beginning of the semester knowing full well they might not happen.
1. plan future. i can't really postpone accomplishing this one.
2. serve Covenant church to the best of my ability. i have an internship there and it will be my first hands on youth ministry experience.
3. work on writing songs. i have realized that i never finish songs because i try to make too much of them. i always try to use the strangest chords and the deepest words. i'm going to write simple songs. we'll see how that turns out.

lately i have been listening to a lot of david bazan and bon iver.
if you would have asked me a few years ago if i ever would have enjoyed this music i would have laughed in your face.
i guess this means i'm getting older.

we're just stumbling

ojk is pretty much officially done.

phil has departed for the west and we all made an agreement that the band would end if any one member left.
we were able to have one last throwdown to properly lay our songs to rest.
it was in a way bitter sweet.
ojk was my first "official" band. playing with paul, phil, and walhof helped me unlock the potential in my guitar playing and song writing ability. but ojk was more than that. we all became good friends. good enough friends that we were all able to live together over 1 summer.
as we played our songs i was taken back to where i was as a person when each song was written. that is another strange thing about writing songs together. each song meant something different to each of us and that came out in the way we played our instrument or sang our vocal part on each song.
we were all able to have some time to reminisce about our experiences. it was hard to define exactly what happened between us, but we all agreed it was positive.
i thank God for operation joykill and the experience we were able to have together.

clear a path side to side

monday i went to the most intense/killer rock show i think i've ever been to.
the lineup went as follows:
as i lay dying
norma jean
august burns red
maylene and the sons of disaster.
anyone who knows anything about Christian metal bands would recognize that this line up is epic. these are probably the 4 biggest bands that fall into that category right now.
for those who care, read on for i will share my thoughts on each band.
those who don't care stop reading because there won't be much for you to gleen from this.
maylene and the sons of disaster: this is the third time i've seen this band. to be completely honest this is the worst performance i've seen from them. they recently lost several members, and it seems that their new members are very uncomfortable on stage. they are talented but they just kind of walk around and look confused. it was still a good set all things considered.
august burns red: i don't know what it is about this band. they are currently in my top 10 live bands. their performances contain all the elements i want to see in a live band. what are those elements? i'm not sure. go see august burns red and find out for yourself. they somehow perform just as hard as any band i've ever seen, but are still able to maintain tight musicianship. the lead singer exudes everything that is metal. whether he is down in the audiece screaming or throwing the mic to the crowd allowing them to pick up the vocals. they do things well.
norma jean: this is the first time i've seen this band. they are straight up brutal. their cds are very intense but listening to recordings of this band in no way does them justice. just plain brutal.
as i lay dying: these guys have been around for a while.they are a seasoned metal band and it shows in their performance. they put together a great mix of new and old songs. they are just plain epic.
i would go to this show 60 more times.
knowing that these bands were all Christian bands made it that much more enjoyable. typically with bands like this you have to endure a slew of cursing and uneeded banter between songs. these bands should be commended for maintaining their faith while making waves in the secular market.

i'm gonna do the things i want to do

i think i can now safely consider myself a real dordt student, and here is why:
friday evening my good friend dan den boer was married to his lovely fiance autumn wielinenga.
this makes me feel like an official dordt student for 2 reasons.
1. dan is the first of what i would consider good friends to get married.
2. i played a small role in the wedding. small: yes. important: kind of. i was the guest book attendant. basically i just pointed at things and smiled when people had questions. i felt good about the work i did.
i feel now that i have met these criteria i feel like i have participated in one more thing that your average dordt student will do before graduation. i believe one of the last ones to cross off would be to get married.
dan and autumn's wedding was a very feel good event. i think it is safe to say everyone walked away smiling and being extremely happy for both of them.

i am going into my senior year now. i'm trying to promise myself a few things:
1. i won't slack of.
2. i will enjoy it as much as possible.
3. i won't expect amazing things to happen and then get disappointed when they don't.
4. i will try to not participate in the senior scramble.
4a. if a relationship comes up organically i will be more than happy to pursue.
5. i want to play be in the musical.
6. i want to play as many shows with tba as possible.
7. i want to go to at least 2 concerts each semester.

i like the new weezer cd a lot.

take this sinking boat and point it home

this is one of those blogs where i just summarize everything that has happened since the last post which was almost a month ago.

-dordt has finished
-i said goodbye to a lot of dear dordt friends
-tba has finished recording our new cd. i release date will be named later
-i went home last weekend.
-my good friend casey kyhl has gone to the navy. it was a pretty sad goodbye because i won't see him in a long time
-parekersburg was obliterated by a tornado
-my job is pretty laid back and sweet.

that is a brief summary.
i have decided to expand upon the parkersburg thing. i have been in a great deal of close encounters with tornadoes but never have i seen a tornado cause this much damage in person. so many friends completely lost their homes. i have realized that seeing pictures or video on the news never will do something like this justice. when you are standing in the middle of a very familiar place and you aren't able to figure out where you are you realize how real these things can be.

on a lighter note i'm very pleased with the way the benedict affair's cd sounds. i cannot wait to release it.

i saw the movie once last night. everything about that movie is mediocre to bad but for some reason it is awesome. try to wrap your mind around that review of the movie

i guess this is growing up

so let me put a little disclaimer for those who read this and get concerned.
me blogging about not being sure about my future is my way of getting those thoughts out in the open. i'm not all sad about it and having a major breakdown. i realize that these struggles are normal and healthy. sometimes i think about things like not going into youth ministry, but i quickly dismiss the thought and don't take time to actually process these thoughts. blogging about my future for me is my way of getting things out in the open. so in that regard this is serving it's purpose.

i woke up this morning thinking about the next time i can sleep. i realized this is pathetic, but i love sleeping.

i am considering starting another blog for serious stuff. this one would be for mostly dumb things and me rationalizing how i spend my time.

finals are next week. finals are no fun because i need to find a balance between studying and trying to finish classes well and hanging out with people i won't see again for a long time. chances are i will slack off on the school work and hang out and do exciting things that i will tell my children about when i grow older.