we're just stumbling

ojk is pretty much officially done.

phil has departed for the west and we all made an agreement that the band would end if any one member left.
we were able to have one last throwdown to properly lay our songs to rest.
it was in a way bitter sweet.
ojk was my first "official" band. playing with paul, phil, and walhof helped me unlock the potential in my guitar playing and song writing ability. but ojk was more than that. we all became good friends. good enough friends that we were all able to live together over 1 summer.
as we played our songs i was taken back to where i was as a person when each song was written. that is another strange thing about writing songs together. each song meant something different to each of us and that came out in the way we played our instrument or sang our vocal part on each song.
we were all able to have some time to reminisce about our experiences. it was hard to define exactly what happened between us, but we all agreed it was positive.
i thank God for operation joykill and the experience we were able to have together.

clear a path side to side

monday i went to the most intense/killer rock show i think i've ever been to.
the lineup went as follows:
as i lay dying
norma jean
august burns red
maylene and the sons of disaster.
anyone who knows anything about Christian metal bands would recognize that this line up is epic. these are probably the 4 biggest bands that fall into that category right now.
for those who care, read on for i will share my thoughts on each band.
those who don't care stop reading because there won't be much for you to gleen from this.
maylene and the sons of disaster: this is the third time i've seen this band. to be completely honest this is the worst performance i've seen from them. they recently lost several members, and it seems that their new members are very uncomfortable on stage. they are talented but they just kind of walk around and look confused. it was still a good set all things considered.
august burns red: i don't know what it is about this band. they are currently in my top 10 live bands. their performances contain all the elements i want to see in a live band. what are those elements? i'm not sure. go see august burns red and find out for yourself. they somehow perform just as hard as any band i've ever seen, but are still able to maintain tight musicianship. the lead singer exudes everything that is metal. whether he is down in the audiece screaming or throwing the mic to the crowd allowing them to pick up the vocals. they do things well.
norma jean: this is the first time i've seen this band. they are straight up brutal. their cds are very intense but listening to recordings of this band in no way does them justice. just plain brutal.
as i lay dying: these guys have been around for a while.they are a seasoned metal band and it shows in their performance. they put together a great mix of new and old songs. they are just plain epic.
i would go to this show 60 more times.
knowing that these bands were all Christian bands made it that much more enjoyable. typically with bands like this you have to endure a slew of cursing and uneeded banter between songs. these bands should be commended for maintaining their faith while making waves in the secular market.

i'm gonna do the things i want to do

i think i can now safely consider myself a real dordt student, and here is why:
friday evening my good friend dan den boer was married to his lovely fiance autumn wielinenga.
this makes me feel like an official dordt student for 2 reasons.
1. dan is the first of what i would consider good friends to get married.
2. i played a small role in the wedding. small: yes. important: kind of. i was the guest book attendant. basically i just pointed at things and smiled when people had questions. i felt good about the work i did.
i feel now that i have met these criteria i feel like i have participated in one more thing that your average dordt student will do before graduation. i believe one of the last ones to cross off would be to get married.
dan and autumn's wedding was a very feel good event. i think it is safe to say everyone walked away smiling and being extremely happy for both of them.

i am going into my senior year now. i'm trying to promise myself a few things:
1. i won't slack of.
2. i will enjoy it as much as possible.
3. i won't expect amazing things to happen and then get disappointed when they don't.
4. i will try to not participate in the senior scramble.
4a. if a relationship comes up organically i will be more than happy to pursue.
5. i want to play be in the musical.
6. i want to play as many shows with tba as possible.
7. i want to go to at least 2 concerts each semester.

i like the new weezer cd a lot.

take this sinking boat and point it home

this is one of those blogs where i just summarize everything that has happened since the last post which was almost a month ago.

-dordt has finished
-i said goodbye to a lot of dear dordt friends
-tba has finished recording our new cd. i release date will be named later
-i went home last weekend.
-my good friend casey kyhl has gone to the navy. it was a pretty sad goodbye because i won't see him in a long time
-parekersburg was obliterated by a tornado
-my job is pretty laid back and sweet.

that is a brief summary.
i have decided to expand upon the parkersburg thing. i have been in a great deal of close encounters with tornadoes but never have i seen a tornado cause this much damage in person. so many friends completely lost their homes. i have realized that seeing pictures or video on the news never will do something like this justice. when you are standing in the middle of a very familiar place and you aren't able to figure out where you are you realize how real these things can be.

on a lighter note i'm very pleased with the way the benedict affair's cd sounds. i cannot wait to release it.

i saw the movie once last night. everything about that movie is mediocre to bad but for some reason it is awesome. try to wrap your mind around that review of the movie

i guess this is growing up

so let me put a little disclaimer for those who read this and get concerned.
me blogging about not being sure about my future is my way of getting those thoughts out in the open. i'm not all sad about it and having a major breakdown. i realize that these struggles are normal and healthy. sometimes i think about things like not going into youth ministry, but i quickly dismiss the thought and don't take time to actually process these thoughts. blogging about my future for me is my way of getting things out in the open. so in that regard this is serving it's purpose.

i woke up this morning thinking about the next time i can sleep. i realized this is pathetic, but i love sleeping.

i am considering starting another blog for serious stuff. this one would be for mostly dumb things and me rationalizing how i spend my time.

finals are next week. finals are no fun because i need to find a balance between studying and trying to finish classes well and hanging out with people i won't see again for a long time. chances are i will slack off on the school work and hang out and do exciting things that i will tell my children about when i grow older.

i want to stay inside for good

that title isn't true at all.
the weather seems like it is going to start getting nice and stay that way.
i love it when the temperature is around 50 degrees. pants and sweatshirt weather.

this is the official dead week blog.
in semesters past i have blogged about how dead week is far from dead and how i have so much to do.
this remains true of this dead week.
i believe last time i checked i have 4 papers due on friday. yes!

the benedict affair is recording shortly after the school year ends. very exciting.

i have stated before that some of the most relaxing times for me have come when i am on dordt's campus with no homework or anything pressing to do. i kindof hope that is what this summer will be.

i believe i have found a church to work with next fall. chances are i am going to be teaming up with another dordt student to help rebuild a youth program in a church in george iowa. hopefully that pans out. i feel like i have the knowledge to go into youth ministry, but i am considering a different path. for one of my classes we had to take a bunch of quizzes about spiritual gifts and what not. on every single one i scored high in some form of arts and low in interpersonal skills. i think the low score in interpersonal skills came from me being hard on myself. however this is causing me to consider looking for some sort of arts in worship position. i have no idea what that looks like, but apparently these jobs exist. who knows what will happen.

time for night class.

through all this chaos we found safety.

my junior year is rapidly coming to a close.
here's a quick rundown for those who haven't heard from me in a while
1. i'm still single and currently not sure how i feel about that
2. i'm worried about the future and not sure how i feel about it
3. i'm currently not sure if i should be going into youth ministry

basically i'm not sure about a lot of things.
the last few weeks have kind of slapped me in the face. it feels like i have been zoning out for about a month and i am finally starting to realize i may have wasted a bunch of valuable time on nothing.

many projects are due soon.

i am excited for this summer. cool people are staying around. i am going to be working in dordt's chapel and tearing the place apart making sense of all the lights and sound.

i will start blogging more because it is relaxing in a weird way.