that's simply my life story

my story is rough but my praise is real

2009-08-03T12:27:00.000-07:00

chicago...
i really like it.
i have been attending a very diverse crc church. i know what you are thinking, if it isn't primarily dutch or german it can't be crc. well you are going to have to take my word for it. i was able to find one gray psalter hymnal in the building so that was enough to convince me. lawndale crc has already shown me what i was looking for when moving to chicago, a new way to experience Christianity. last sunday a man while the pastor was taking prayer requests a man had a praise to share. recently he went to a class reunion and when he showed up people couldn't believe how much he had cleaned his life up. he repeated constantly, "my story is rough but my praise is real." people at this church are very passionate in this church. some would go so far as to say it is flashy and showy, but it is so genuine you can't help but be excited. the pastor's message was about taking the party inside the church to the world and i can say with all certainty that everyone who was in that congregation is celebrating their faith in Jesus right now.
i enjoyed my time at lawndale and am excited to get involved in congregation.

nick and i played an acoustic show. it was really well received. videos can be found on my facebook.
hopefully there is more shows to come in the future.

nothing can come between a man and his maker

2009-07-16T22:18:00.000-07:00

i am becoming acclimated to chicago life.
i have started to comprehend where i am in the city and how to get to a few places.
thus far this has been a great experience for me.
allow me to list some highlights for you:
purchasing a pineapple popsicle from one of the many ice cream bikes that come down our block.
public transportation.
i saw a group of hispanic teenagers in the park the other day. i immediately assumed the worst because my small town mentality taught me to think that way. as i approached them they handed me a tract and said "God Bess you." I was immediately thankful for God reminding me of his presence in the city.

one of my favorite moments in the city came last night when my girlfriend (kelly) and i went to a concert at the house of blues in chicago. we celebrated our 3 month anniversary by going to see august burns red in concert. i vivadly remember one point where i could clearly understand the lyrics (which is strange at a concert like this). the singer (or screamer) with all the power he could find inside him screamed, "nothing comes between a man and his maker." this quote has given me some comfort. sure being in the city can be unsafe. sure i don't have a lot of money and am having trouble finding a job. but despite a great deal of uncertainties i do know that nothing can come between a man and his maker.

hello.

2009-07-08T15:44:00.000-07:00

alright let's start this thing again.

i'll spare everyone the details of what happened since we last talked.

basically i graduated, joined a new band, got a girlfriend, and now i'm moving to chicago.

i'll be moving this sunday which maketh me excited.
i have an apartment to move into, but no job and that is ok. i hope to make some music in the big city.

more news and updates later.

manna is a hell of a drug.

2008-10-30T11:23:00.001-07:00

apparently i only posted a title for this blog.
i wrote a fairly extensive blog but apparently i did something wrong.
my mistake.

i will have to try to recreate the blog that i apparently didn't type.

first i would like to review urinetown with you. the show went incredibly well and i think it is safe to say that it was the most fun show i have ever been a part of. audiences were fantastic and did not condemn us for poorly titled show. to add to the greatness that was urinetown, we got held. this means that there is a chance we will be able to perform our show at the american college theatre festival region 5. getting held is a huge honor. for a while now i have had a short checklist of things that i have wanted to do in theatre
1. receive an irene ryan nomination (check previous blogs for an explanation). check
2. be in a show that gets held. check

the benedict affair is writing new songs.

this was not in the original post that did not get posted, but i will digress.

last night i saw the following bands in this order lights, lydia, lovedrug, copeland.
i love lydia's music and i love live music. the combination of these two things was very exciting for me. sparing you the reader too much boring detail, it was a fantastic show all the way around.

now i will return to the original subject of the elusive post that did not get posted.
i discussed the title that i have given this blog. it comes from the song "i can feel a hot one" by manchester orchestra. for some reason this quote struck me. i have no idea what the author's original intent was when he wrote this, but i began to think about the israelites and how manna was their only food for a fairly long time. manna became part of the routine. i then began to think about routine moments and how these routine moments are what keep me sane and keep me going. i am a creature of habit and i have certain rhythms that i go through everyday. to me this quote means that God provides some of the most normal routine events to keep us going. that may or may not make sense to you, but i loved this lyric.

we're at the top of the world

2008-10-15T14:09:00.001-07:00

it is in the dordt theatre world what we call production week. the play opens tomorrow and i can safely say i am excited. everything is coming together very nicely and we have one more dress rehearsal tonight to polish the small mistakes.
doing a play like urinetown serves as a good reminder of what it is like to be in a conservative Christian community. people in the community got bent out of shape about the title right away. the show is a very fun and entertaining show, but because of this backlash the dordt theatre department has had to rationalize doing a show like this. for me this just serves as a reminder of what it will be like to work in the church. there are always going to be people who are easily offended. to me when working in the church it isn't a question of agreeing and disagreeing, it is understanding each other's position. i feel like as a future youth pastor/church employee/ whatever trying to have an understanding for all sides of an issue will be very important. good or bad that is just how it is and that is one thing i'm taking away from this show.

my internship is going very well. i was pretty on edge about the first meeting. i decided for the first lesson that i was going to give my testimony so that the youths would learn about me and my past as a Christian. i wasn't sure if i this was a good idea till i sat down in church that evening. the title of the sermon was testimony. i was immediately calm and thankful for God's constant reminders that he is helping me out.

when we last talked i had started to skateboard again. i have not done any major damage to my body. a few rasberries (scrapes) and fruit baskets (bruises) but nothing to terrible.

i have been cast in a full length movie that some dordt students are putting together. i apparently am a hitch hiker. more on that as it becomes available.

all in all things are pretty good right now.

your words hit like a train and i can't ignore it

2008-09-28T14:55:00.000-07:00

hello readers.
out of fairness to you all i have decided to post a blog.
the semester is a little busier than it seemed earlier. the play, classes, and various other activities are robing me of my free time. it's not too terrible because i am enjoying all of my classes. currently my favorite class would have to be calvin's institutes. it is pretty incredible to think that one man spent his whole life studying Christianity and was able to write such an incredible reflection on his studies.
i continue to become interested in new things. have become obsessed with skateboarding again. i purchased a board and me and a few roomates went out and did some extreme stunts.

this is a photo of me doing a lovely board slide.
tonight is my the first actual youth group meeting for my internship. it is weird because i'm not really nervous i'm just straight up scared. this intership is going to have a heavy impact on my future. if i hate it i probably will want to consider pursuing a new field. i'm sure that God will have his hand with me and i won't hate it.
the play is going well. tristate break is next week and i will be staying at dordt to work on the show. it should be a good time.
i certainly do miss some dear friends who are no longer at dordt. please come back and visit friends.

here is a picture of nick doing a sick trick and kenny watching in amazement.

skate or die bros.

all fallen leaves should curse their branches.

2008-09-01T18:44:00.000-07:00

i have again failed to blog for a long time.
if you read this in an attempt to keep up with my life there is going to be a big chunk missing because i don't feel like trying to creatively express the last month or 2.
i will go over one important note with you:
the benedict affair's new cd "with more class" is now available and if you wish to acquire a copy contact me.
if you wish to hear some tracks there should be a link to your right.
classes have resumed and dordt is buzzing with life. initially i was slightly unenthused with the return of friends. i guess i got so used to having the campus to myself that it was weird seeing people here again.

i like to give myself a few goals at the beginning of the semester knowing full well they might not happen.
1. plan future. i can't really postpone accomplishing this one.
2. serve Covenant church to the best of my ability. i have an internship there and it will be my first hands on youth ministry experience.
3. work on writing songs. i have realized that i never finish songs because i try to make too much of them. i always try to use the strangest chords and the deepest words. i'm going to write simple songs. we'll see how that turns out.

lately i have been listening to a lot of david bazan and bon iver.
if you would have asked me a few years ago if i ever would have enjoyed this music i would have laughed in your face.
i guess this means i'm getting older.

we're just stumbling

2008-07-22T21:40:00.000-07:00

ojk is pretty much officially done.

phil has departed for the west and we all made an agreement that the band would end if any one member left.
we were able to have one last throwdown to properly lay our songs to rest.
it was in a way bitter sweet.
ojk was my first "official" band. playing with paul, phil, and walhof helped me unlock the potential in my guitar playing and song writing ability. but ojk was more than that. we all became good friends. good enough friends that we were all able to live together over 1 summer.
as we played our songs i was taken back to where i was as a person when each song was written. that is another strange thing about writing songs together. each song meant something different to each of us and that came out in the way we played our instrument or sang our vocal part on each song.
we were all able to have some time to reminisce about our experiences. it was hard to define exactly what happened between us, but we all agreed it was positive.
i thank God for operation joykill and the experience we were able to have together.

clear a path side to side

2008-07-03T08:42:00.000-07:00

monday i went to the most intense/killer rock show i think i've ever been to.
the lineup went as follows:
as i lay dying
norma jean
august burns red
maylene and the sons of disaster.
anyone who knows anything about Christian metal bands would recognize that this line up is epic. these are probably the 4 biggest bands that fall into that category right now.
for those who care, read on for i will share my thoughts on each band.
those who don't care stop reading because there won't be much for you to gleen from this.
maylene and the sons of disaster: this is the third time i've seen this band. to be completely honest this is the worst performance i've seen from them. they recently lost several members, and it seems that their new members are very uncomfortable on stage. they are talented but they just kind of walk around and look confused. it was still a good set all things considered.
august burns red: i don't know what it is about this band. they are currently in my top 10 live bands. their performances contain all the elements i want to see in a live band. what are those elements? i'm not sure. go see august burns red and find out for yourself. they somehow perform just as hard as any band i've ever seen, but are still able to maintain tight musicianship. the lead singer exudes everything that is metal. whether he is down in the audiece screaming or throwing the mic to the crowd allowing them to pick up the vocals. they do things well.
norma jean: this is the first time i've seen this band. they are straight up brutal. their cds are very intense but listening to recordings of this band in no way does them justice. just plain brutal.
as i lay dying: these guys have been around for a while.they are a seasoned metal band and it shows in their performance. they put together a great mix of new and old songs. they are just plain epic.
i would go to this show 60 more times.
knowing that these bands were all Christian bands made it that much more enjoyable. typically with bands like this you have to endure a slew of cursing and uneeded banter between songs. these bands should be commended for maintaining their faith while making waves in the secular market.

i'm gonna do the things i want to do

2008-06-29T12:58:00.000-07:00

i think i can now safely consider myself a real dordt student, and here is why:
friday evening my good friend dan den boer was married to his lovely fiance autumn wielinenga.
this makes me feel like an official dordt student for 2 reasons.
1. dan is the first of what i would consider good friends to get married.
2. i played a small role in the wedding. small: yes. important: kind of. i was the guest book attendant. basically i just pointed at things and smiled when people had questions. i felt good about the work i did.
i feel now that i have met these criteria i feel like i have participated in one more thing that your average dordt student will do before graduation. i believe one of the last ones to cross off would be to get married.
dan and autumn's wedding was a very feel good event. i think it is safe to say everyone walked away smiling and being extremely happy for both of them.

i am going into my senior year now. i'm trying to promise myself a few things:
1. i won't slack of.
2. i will enjoy it as much as possible.
3. i won't expect amazing things to happen and then get disappointed when they don't.
4. i will try to not participate in the senior scramble.
4a. if a relationship comes up organically i will be more than happy to pursue.
5. i want to play be in the musical.
6. i want to play as many shows with tba as possible.
7. i want to go to at least 2 concerts each semester.

i like the new weezer cd a lot.

take this sinking boat and point it home

2008-05-31T08:36:00.001-07:00

this is one of those blogs where i just summarize everything that has happened since the last post which was almost a month ago.

-dordt has finished
-i said goodbye to a lot of dear dordt friends
-tba has finished recording our new cd. i release date will be named later
-i went home last weekend.
-my good friend casey kyhl has gone to the navy. it was a pretty sad goodbye because i won't see him in a long time
-parekersburg was obliterated by a tornado
-my job is pretty laid back and sweet.

that is a brief summary.
i have decided to expand upon the parkersburg thing. i have been in a great deal of close encounters with tornadoes but never have i seen a tornado cause this much damage in person. so many friends completely lost their homes. i have realized that seeing pictures or video on the news never will do something like this justice. when you are standing in the middle of a very familiar place and you aren't able to figure out where you are you realize how real these things can be.

on a lighter note i'm very pleased with the way the benedict affair's cd sounds. i cannot wait to release it.

i saw the movie once last night. everything about that movie is mediocre to bad but for some reason it is awesome. try to wrap your mind around that review of the movie

i guess this is growing up

2008-05-02T09:13:00.000-07:00

so let me put a little disclaimer for those who read this and get concerned.
me blogging about not being sure about my future is my way of getting those thoughts out in the open. i'm not all sad about it and having a major breakdown. i realize that these struggles are normal and healthy. sometimes i think about things like not going into youth ministry, but i quickly dismiss the thought and don't take time to actually process these thoughts. blogging about my future for me is my way of getting things out in the open. so in that regard this is serving it's purpose.

i woke up this morning thinking about the next time i can sleep. i realized this is pathetic, but i love sleeping.

i am considering starting another blog for serious stuff. this one would be for mostly dumb things and me rationalizing how i spend my time.

finals are next week. finals are no fun because i need to find a balance between studying and trying to finish classes well and hanging out with people i won't see again for a long time. chances are i will slack off on the school work and hang out and do exciting things that i will tell my children about when i grow older.

i want to stay inside for good

2008-04-28T16:24:00.000-07:00

that title isn't true at all.
the weather seems like it is going to start getting nice and stay that way.
i love it when the temperature is around 50 degrees. pants and sweatshirt weather.

this is the official dead week blog.
in semesters past i have blogged about how dead week is far from dead and how i have so much to do.
this remains true of this dead week.
i believe last time i checked i have 4 papers due on friday. yes!

the benedict affair is recording shortly after the school year ends. very exciting.

i have stated before that some of the most relaxing times for me have come when i am on dordt's campus with no homework or anything pressing to do. i kindof hope that is what this summer will be.

i believe i have found a church to work with next fall. chances are i am going to be teaming up with another dordt student to help rebuild a youth program in a church in george iowa. hopefully that pans out. i feel like i have the knowledge to go into youth ministry, but i am considering a different path. for one of my classes we had to take a bunch of quizzes about spiritual gifts and what not. on every single one i scored high in some form of arts and low in interpersonal skills. i think the low score in interpersonal skills came from me being hard on myself. however this is causing me to consider looking for some sort of arts in worship position. i have no idea what that looks like, but apparently these jobs exist. who knows what will happen.

time for night class.

through all this chaos we found safety.

2008-04-20T17:56:00.001-07:00

my junior year is rapidly coming to a close.
here's a quick rundown for those who haven't heard from me in a while
1. i'm still single and currently not sure how i feel about that
2. i'm worried about the future and not sure how i feel about it
3. i'm currently not sure if i should be going into youth ministry

basically i'm not sure about a lot of things.
the last few weeks have kind of slapped me in the face. it feels like i have been zoning out for about a month and i am finally starting to realize i may have wasted a bunch of valuable time on nothing.

many projects are due soon.

i am excited for this summer. cool people are staying around. i am going to be working in dordt's chapel and tearing the place apart making sense of all the lights and sound.

i will start blogging more because it is relaxing in a weird way.

don't you ever get lonely.

2008-03-26T17:34:00.001-07:00

spring break has come and gone.
i went to seattle and everywhere inbetween with some good friends. twas a much needed break from normal iowa life.
i saw a concert in seattle and it was fantastic for many reasons. it was an all around great show the bands that performed were say anything, manchester orchestra, biffy clyro, and weatherbox. this show was also monumental becuase it was the first show i was able to enjoy an adult beverage. i only had one for those who wanted to judge me. while all the bands were good manchester orchestra's set stayed with me. their lyrics are very spiritual and seeing them live was incredible. i felt like i was worshiping while listening to them play live. they ended their set with a song called where have you been. the recorded version of the song ends with the lead singer repeating "God, where have you been." when they played it live they did repeat this at the end, but when the song finished the lead singer continued to sing. i wish i could remember exactly what he said but it was something about being dead and being brought to life. it brought a fantastic resolution to the song and to their set. i loved it.

but my spring break is now a memory and it is now time to face the reality that the rest of this semester is going to fly.

i could use a vacation, my eyes are bored

2008-03-03T22:09:00.000-08:00

dead man walking is done.
the heaviness of the show finally hit me in the last 3 productions. i spent so much time thinking about the play being about the death penalty because that was the issue that everyone wanted to talk about. i realized that my character showed hope and forgiveness at the end of the show, but the importance of forgiveness never touched me. it took me till the last few performances to realize that my character was embodying forgiveness. i played a man who had his son taken from him, but is willing to forgive his sons killer. while it probably didn't show on stage, this made a huge difference in the way i felt inside while performing.
the final night we received our first standing ovation.
it was a flood of emotions. for some reason that performance greatly effected me. i can't say exactly what happened.
once i saw everyone standing i began to cry. i have never cried during a curtain call.
it is so hard for me to describe what happened.
the whole cast went out to shake hands and hug, many of us had tears in our eyes. if you were to ask anyone in the cast what made that performance so emotional i don't think anyone could tell you.

theatre is powerful.

tonight i found out that i was nominated to participate in the irene ryan competition at actf. for those who don't understand, for each major production that dordt puts on 3 actors out of the cast get the to go to actf to participate in a acting competition. i am incredibly honored.

i'm tired.
spring break is just around the corner. plans to go to seattle are being finalized.
i am ever so excited.

for the record i'm tired, i've been running for days

2008-02-21T22:01:00.000-08:00

i am sitting in front of my computer in the dark. the roommates are asleep and i just plain don't feel like going to bed yet. dead man walking opened tonight. i should get some rest and prepare for another long day tomorrow, but i don't want to. there are some nights when i am blessed with the ability to think clearly. tonight isn't one of those nights, but the previous three nights were. for some reason i was on sensory overload. lately i have been trying to listen so closely to God's calling that it is almost driving me crazy. i try to find symbolism behind everything. anything i see, hear, think, smell could be a sign from God. i take everything and try to overanalyze it trying to figure out exactly what i need to learn. i feel like this is a good exercise, trying to find God in everything, but i guess lately i haven't been able to make sense of what i have been perceiving as signs. it is really getting frustrating. again this basically comes down to me not trusting God's time for my life. i not allowing God to work in the way he wants to, i am trying to make him talk to me and tell me what i want to hear. this is where the problem starts i interpret everything as God telling me what i want to hear.

i needed to type that.

tx was saturday. the benedict affair dominated it.
for those who were not present here is a video from the event.

enjoy friends.

we are, we just battle ourselves

2008-02-12T12:42:00.000-08:00

tba and ojk did in fact play a dordt show on saturdays eve.
it was so neat playing with ojk again. we sounded good.
playing with tba is also so fantastic.
being in both bands is awesome in different ways.
i like being in ojk because i have a lot of control over the sound. i have written large chunks of many of the songs and the boys came in behind my ideas and made them sound killer. i love playing songs that i wrote that remind me of how i was feeling when i wrote them.
playing with tba i basically just write lead parts to go along with the songs. i don't have as much creative control, but performing with tba is incredible. i just feel completely happy the whole time.
again playing in both bands rules.
do not even try to make me pick a favorite.

a group of improvisers called 88improv performed at dordt saturday before the show. they did long form improv which basically means they improvised a 45 minute play. it had a clear beginning rising action climax and ending. basically it was incredible. i was inspired to take my improvising more seriously.

i love going to wellspring. for those who aren't familiar it is basically a time of guided meditation. i realized that for me meeting with God is when i am being very intentional with my thoughts. so many times i just blow through the day and not take the time to process what i actually thought. when i take time to stop and process and be intentional with what i am thinking i feel more receptive to God's plan for my life.

i've seen the best and worst of you

2008-02-05T11:40:00.000-08:00

i have this constant problem when i sit down to blog.
i can never remember how much information i offered the last time i wrote.
perhaps the solution to this problem is to blog more frequently.

tx is rapidly approaching which means i will be busy. i have to run sound for auditions tonight from 6 till whenever sac decides to release me from their torturous grip.
there is a strong chance tba and ojk will be playing a dordt show this weekend. if you read this and are not involved in either of those bands i urge you to come and revel in good music. dordt has several extremely talented bands, but for some reason it is impossible to get people to come out and enjoy it.

friday night jeremiah and i went to see as i lay dying, august burns red, and evergreen terrace play a heavy metal show. great success! heavy shows rule so so much. regardless of what musical styling you prefer (unless you trace every musical style back to bob dylan) should go to at least one hardcore show before death. august burns red is currently blasting through my speakers and i am loving it. they put on one the most intense sets i have ever seen in my life.

for my discernment for ministry class we had to work on a "worship practice". i decided as my worship practice that i would simply sit down and play guitar. i frequently dink around on the guitar while i'm checking my email and such things, but i don't really take the time to enjoy it. i have found a time in the day when all the roomates are gone and it proves to be very relaxing.

this is where you come in, i know that i can count on you to walk me through

2008-01-26T12:46:00.000-08:00

i just got back from the american college theatre festival.
what a fantastic time.
i saw a bunch of shows a bunch of good actors and left remembering why i love theatre and feeling inadequate as an actor.
hanging out was also delightful.
there were a few times where every time anyone around me opened their mouth comedic gold spewed forth. i love it when people are funny.
missing a week of schooling does have it's downfalls.
currently i am attempting to play catch up, but thus far it is not successful.
i really want to play a rock show with ojk and tba.
for some reason neither band has been blessed with the opportunity to rock in front of people.
i realized while on the trip that getting shocked might make me more angry than anything else in this world.
whenever i get shocked for 1/4 of a second i think i am angry enough to kill a something. this passes very quickly and i get back to normal in no time but for that brief moment i get so so angry.
it was a great revelation.
here is the lesson in this. never electrocute me because i might hurt something.

alone i can barely light a match but together we can burn this place down

2008-01-08T13:20:00.000-08:00

this is my first post of the new year.
if i could sum up my break in one word it would probably be lazy.
my days have basically consisted of sleeping playing guitar and getting our old home movies transfered to dvd.
that's right i have been occasionally watching some classic home movies. they are pretty entertaining. i decided while watching these home movies that i was pretty dumb as a kid. i think pretty much up until high school i was pretty awkward.
i have been working on playing solos on guitar.
i wrote a few new acoustic songs that will probably never be heard by anyone.
my fingers are starting to move a little faster but i am still not terribly skilled.
i don't make new years resolutions.
i forget them immediately after i say them.
ok i just thought of a resolution: do things that are good to do.
that is something to shoot for.
i am listening to a band called for year strong. if you are reading this and have agreed with me on other musical choices go and listen to this band without hesitation. don't finish reading this, go listen to four year strong.

what did you think? did you like them? i fell in love the second the first note of heroes get remembered, legends never die.
i go back home tomorrow and i don't really want to.
i will have play rehearsals and those should be fun because i like everyone in the cast of the play. also for some reason being at dordt during breaks is very relaxing to me.

it's always on your mind but you never speak of it.

2007-12-24T13:50:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas blog readers.

i'm home safely.
quick recap of what happened finals week:
1. took tests that i was under prepared for.
finals are hard because i just want to be done and i don't want to stress out.
2. my last exam was not supposed to be hard according the professor.
i went in having planned a few little quirks with friends to make the test more fun.
said test was difficult and leveled all fun i was considering having.
3. upon returning from the exam i noticed my roomate had rented a nintendo wii.
all stress disappeared and i played wii tennis till my arm hurt.
i want a wii.
i played the wii a lot wednesday and thursday
4. ojk practiced for the first time as a whole band since october. twas very needed
that was in brief what i did exam week.

friday the benedict affair had a show in des moines.
it was slightly disappointing. it was at a very nice venue but not many people came. we probably brought in more fans than any of the other bands. i am going to guess that the ominous weather stopped a good deal of people from coming. regardless it was fun because playing concerts is always fun.
after the concert i braved the weather and left for home. the 2 hour drive was blanketed with fog. i made and was happy.

and now that puts me here. i have done extremely normal things since arriving at home. i haven't seen much of my dear old friends, but i will be home for a while yet.

every time i look into the sky i see the lone sun shining...

2007-12-15T20:40:00.000-08:00

i remembered that i love hip hop music the other day.
i was thinking on rap music that i used to listen to and la symphony came to mind. i went on itunes and immediately purchased their first release. i love it... again.

so today i realized that i thrive on recognition. i like being affirmed in what i am doing. if you are reading this do not start complimenting me on random things because i'm not hinting at anything here. i'm not depressed and fishing for compliments so don't get that impression. the feeling that i get when i have accomplished something and someone recognizes it is very fulfilling to me.

the semester is winding down and i have no desire to prepare for the end. finals start monday and i have yet to start studying. tomorrow is pretty free for me so hopefully i can pull down some motivation.

break should be a good time. some down time will be nice for a while. i want to write some songs that push my voice with some neat and relevant lyrics.

i have received a part in the spring play. it is going to be an intense show. i am really looking forward to working on it.

it's so simple and complicated the way you can judge me

2007-12-07T13:18:00.000-08:00

so things are starting to wind down right before winding up again. next week is dead week and the following week is exams.

i had to write a paper for a class about a church. i choose my home church. in talking to my pastor and my father i realized that i love Austinville CRC. i cannot wait to get back there. there is something about the way german people bellow out the hymns that just cannot match anything in sioux center. i also never realized how close everyone actually is in Austinville. i miss it.

i have been listening to a band called oh, sleeper. i am in love with their lyrics. one song in particular has really hit me hard. the song is called we are the archers and it is about struggles with Christianity. the song is about how a guy is struggling and everyone around him is falling to their struggles. at the end he realizes that he is being backed by a large group of archers ready for battle. i love this imagery. i have been thinking about this for a while now.

i just got done trying out for the spring play "dead man walking". it is about a man on death row and a nun who visits him. it will be a heavy show, but i think it will be a good acting experience if i get cast. i hope i get cast.

sometimes at dordt i feel like i am being judged by people. just because i am a youth ministry major that must mean that i have to have this unachievable squeaky clean image. i may be completely off on this but i feel like i'm constantly being watched because i hang out with people who smoke or aren't afraid to speak their mind. i do realize that i am not a perfect person and i probably do a lot of things that are not good to do, but i don't think this will hinder me should i become a youth pastor. we have been talking a lot in classes about how if you want to engage youth you have to enter into their suffering. if you march in there and hit them with a Bible and a bunch of verses about morality they are going to turn you of the second you speak. i don't want to hang out with the happy fun super Christian crew because i don't fit in with them. again it comes back to my fear that i will become the stereotypical youth pastor that only wants to tell kids how to be better Christians. i'm afraid of that, i want to talk to these kids engage them and when i feel comfortable tell them about Christ.

that was a blog.

no one cares if you have a target if you don't know how to shoot.

2007-11-26T11:05:00.001-08:00

i came up with that title on my own.
i thought of it in the shower this morning. it is about people who think they are renegades because they rebel against corporate america when they have no idea what they are doing. they just run around all willy nilly thinking they are making a difference without taking time to think about their rebellion. it annoys me.

a great deal has happened since the last blog.
quick run down.
1. the movie me and elliot and kenny and dave and ben made took second place in the film festival.
2. i have been directing a one act play and that is going well.
3. played in storm lake with the benedict affair.
4. went home. got to see just about everyone i could have ever hoped to see. the only people i didn't get to see was my cousin cassie and aunt marion.
5. saw all my good friends from high school plus some.

that is a brief synopsis of the last few weeks.
last night ojk played in sioux falls with the blend.
the blend is a good band. we played in a bar, the crowd was pretty slim but we made several new fans. initially i was pretty bummed that no one was into our music but by the end of both of our sets we had a lot of people enjoying us. we recieved a great deal of positive drunken feed back and we appreciated it. i remembered again why i like making music.

so now i am back at dordt. no classes today but they begin again tomorrow.
hopefully i can get back in school mode for a few weeks.

you know very well who you are, don't let them write you off.

2007-11-06T14:46:00.000-08:00

i have a big week ahead of me and so little motivation.
it's pretty lame.

we had ojk practice yesterday and we sounded good.
here is something that is bothering me. yesterday we recieved an email from an a & r company who said they were interested in our (ojk's) music. this is not a definite thing but they said that for some bands this is the first step to making it big. first of all this is not a guranteed thing and basically if we wanted to do this we would have to drop everything and pursue the band and even thn there is no gurantee that we will make it. so those are the given circumstances.
here is the thing. this is coming after the fact that we have all come to terms with the fact that ojk is ending.
there are so many things going through my head. i will express them in outline form
1. why couldn't this have come earlier.
a. if this could have come a year ago we could have taken this more seriously.
2. if this is real this is a dream come true.
a. i could make it in a band that i enjoy
3. is this real? there is no gurantee
4. i don't think ojk is capable of dropping everything. we don't have enough clout
5. do i actually want to be in a band for the rest of my life
a. yes i do. i love making music and i could be happy.
b. no, i don't know what i want to do
c. i don't know what i want in life.

those are just a few things that are running through my mind. add about 10 more complications to each thought and you have what is running through my mind right now.

and this all comes after we had all gotten comfortable with where ojk is going.

i need to pray about his more.

i'm starting to believe the ocean is just like you...

2007-10-27T12:47:00.001-07:00

the winter's tale closes tonight.
it has been a long ridiculous run. this play has been incredibly difficult for everyone. honestly the play has been the least of some people's worries. a lot of personal things for a lot of the cast have come up during these last few weeks and it is getting hard for the cast to deal with. i don't really feel like going into details. i have learned from this play that theatre can be so emotionally involving that all the little backstage problems can seem like a big deal when they are not. when you are with a small group of people for the amount of time that a cast is together it seems like there is no other world outside the theatre, but this show his helped me realize that there is way more going on. and that is all i really want to say about that.

last night we had a cast party at our director's house. it was nice to kick back with the cast and not stress out.
this morning i slept in for the first time since getting back to dordt.

on tuesday i saw mewithoutyou thrice and brand new in concert. hooray. i could go into detail but i don't think it would be interesting so to be brief it was neat.

my parents came out for parents weekend. i love my family.

in other dumb news my iron lung (my ipod) has died. i might go a little batty if i don't find a music playing device to replace it soon. but again this is one of those insignificant problems that i should probably put out of mind.

have a nice day reader.

2007-10-27T12:47:00.000-07:00

this post showed up randomly and i dont know how to delete it.

forgive me i'm trying to find my calling.

2007-10-19T08:26:00.001-07:00

so last night was opening night of the play.
i am at a good point. i did well but i can do better.

since the last post ojk played a show and i officially got out of debt. we sold several cds and got paid to play the show. hooray.

this week was exhausting. i had dress rehersals every night and our first performance last night. along with that i had 2 tests.

i have learned something about myself. i don't get stressed i get depressed. for absolutely no reason this week i was sad and felt crappy. my happy streak was broken and that was kindof sad. however now that i am done with my tests and have one performance under my belt i am instantly in a better mood. thus i am lead to believe that i don't get stressed i get depressed. that line is so catchy i am going to write a song about it.

the other day i was sitting in one of my little youth ministry classes and became discouraged again. looking back it may have been a symptom of the stress. people started to throw out what i would consider to be Christian cliches. one example goes as follows, "we should stop being so complacent and go out and help the poor." that is great and i agree we do need to acknowledge poverty but to me it seems like helping the poor is the easiest and most gratifying mission field that people can get into. it seems to me that this just becomes cliche and another easy answer to gratify ourselves as Christians.
now i am not saying that these people are wrong. i agree totally that Christians need to engage the problem of poverty and make an attempt to stop it. i wish more power to the people that want to stop poverty but i am afraid that if i go into the mission field i won't be like that. i don't feel like i am the stereotypical youth minister and i don't want to be that at all. i don't know how that relates to peopel who feel strongly about poverty but in my head it does. please don't read this the wrong way and think i am a bad person.

i heard a song that struck a chord with me. it was remembering sunday by all time low.
ps. i'm tired of band stuff. i'm really getting fed up with not being able to just do what i want to do and be happy doing it. i love ojk and am not leaving the band but if there is no conflict i don't know why i have to take unlimited amounts of shit just to play a show with the benedict affair in a town that is 2 hours away.
for the first time today the thought of quiting both bands popped into my head and that scares me.
and with that thought i am done.

i'm proud of my life and the things that i have done.

2007-10-10T08:06:00.001-07:00

o blog readers... we have so much to discuss, so much.

tristate has come and gone. work on the play went well. it was exhausting but i felt i made a lot of good character developments.
that is the end of the boring stuff.

so on saturday i went to an incredibly kickin concert. i took a certain female to this concert, but more on that later. mutemath and eisley performed in omaha at potentially one of my favorite venues. eisley is just a cute band to watch. mutemath appeals to every sense. they put on one of the most intense, hyperactive, instrument damaging, shows i have ever seen. not only was their performance intense but they had incredible lights. they sounded fantastic and i smelled good so basically every sense.
my mind was truly blown.

here's a big shocker in my world. i asked the aformentioned girl out on a date after the concert... and i got turned down. she was honest and i greatly appreciated that. i was pretty disappointed because i actually thought i had a chance with this one, but alas my terrible fortunes continue.
while this does suck, i am very proud that i was able to work up the nerve to do this instead of silently having a huge crush and then having it dashed to bits.
but it still sucks.
she was really good about it and i have nothing bad to say about her. to reiterate i only have positve things to say about her.
don't worry friends, i'm not taking the high school approach and destroying my self esteem. no i think i am a pretty cool person and getting denied by a girl does not mean that i suck.
but it still sucks a little bit.
i do just fine my car and this guitar.

and that is all i really feel like saying about that right now.

that boy, he's got...

2007-10-02T14:38:00.000-07:00

i am currently completely enthralled with the new say anything music that has appeared online.
i am not sure if i can wait until the 23rd of october for this cd to be released.
i am trying to learn lines for the play which is proving to be more of a problem than once thought.
i am looking forward to tri state break.
i am going to start every sentence in this blog with "i am" i just decided.
i am using this blog as a break from studying lines.
i am still in search of a girlfriend and hoping that all falls together soon.
i am doing a good job of not stressing out this semester.
i am amazed by this good mood that has not stopped over the last few days.
i am still in a good mood.
i am convinced that God speaks through heavy metal.
i am saying this because i saw for today perform in orange city and felt blessed by them.
i am looking forward to suit coat day which is occuring tomorrow.
i am happy for pam and jim and glad to see them together.
i am so pleased with my class schedule.
i am still listening to say anything and very jazzed by their music.
i am going to conclude this blog.

will you be there to carry home the remains of my waisted youth.

2007-09-23T17:08:00.000-07:00

i don't want to blow my chance of finding a good mate in my time here at dordt.

future concerns part 2...

it all started the other day. it really didn't i just thought that it would be more interesting.
i have been worried lately about my future wife (if she exists and i pray to God that she does).
when i leave dordt, odds are i am going to need someone to depend on. assuming that i become a youth minister, there is no way i will be able to go about that alone.
i have this weird impression that some girl will catch my eye and i will catch hers and we will be as good as married.
that thought is pretty dumb. i am afraid that the one i will let the one slip away because i am so dang passive. i always assume that another girl that catches my eye will come around. that is becoming less and less likely. perhaps i should grow up and get some confidence.
sorry to go all high school on you.

i participated in the 48 hour film challenge. me and many others have created an 8 minute musical comedy that i am pretty proud of given the time constraints. as of now i will not give the plot away but i am sure it will make it onto the internet eventually.

nobody ever had a dream round here, but i don't really mind and its starting to get to me.

2007-09-19T14:28:00.000-07:00

it seems the current trend in my ring of blogging friends is to be scared about the future.
i considered a title like "the future freaks me out" however comma i don't feel like this would actually express what i am feeling.
i am scared about becoming a youth minister again. i feel called by God to continue down this path and I honestly don't know where it is leading. i am going to be a spiritual advisor to people who are just starting to gain some sort of understanding about this fiat.
this has caused a panic.
i am not in any way prepared to start ministering to youth. i feel more prepared than before i guess. a year or so ago my parents wanted me to speak at awana's. i refused because that was a time of intense struggle for me. i was completely doubting everything religous and losing hope in the church. i have moved past this but have realized that this struggle won't end and that it can be a good thing. that being said i still don't feel prepared to start ministering to youth.
i am afraid of cliches. i have been thinking about a "personal relationship with Jesus". what does that mean? to me it just seems like some happy phrase that we throw around to remind us that we are Christians.
i don't want to preach these kinds of things to youth. i want to make Christianity relevant to them and help them see that Christians are different but not in the way that everyone thinks.
to bring this thought around full circle, i am afraid that i am not prepared for this path that God has set before me and it is starting to get to me.
if i were to look at the list of things i want to do before i die a lot of them involve band things. be that with the benedict affair or ojk. (for those who are out of the loop, i have made the decision to move to the benedict affair but not leave ojk. it seems like ojk is on its last legs, members are talking about leaving and it saddens me greatly but i am not going to let myself get held back once ojk ends. thus i am joining the benedict affair and will play with ojk happily till it breathes its last. that is the simple version of what is happening).

long story short i hope i grow up to be awesome.

come down heaven...

2007-09-10T16:29:00.000-07:00

ojk played two shows this weekend.
friday was a dordt show and it was very good.
saturday we played in orange city. paul could not come. we still played and i sang all the songs. we crazied things up, phil sang a little walhof screamed. it proved to be ineteresting.
this a picture of me trying to sing paul's vocal parts. he has some pipes and it took pretty much every part of my vocal chords to sing as forcefully as he does

i just got my car back from my parents.
yay.
dad has a nice car and i was tired of worrying about it

so i was thinking on my drive home about love and stuff. not getting married and stuff love, but just love in general. what started me thinking was the love that my family showed by simply fixing up my car and taking care of everything for me. i was so overwhelmed by this act of kindness that i could not help but cry. now i'm not trying to go all emo and stuff on you but i started thinking about how overwhelming love as an act can be. the phrase God is love took on a whole new meaning to me. God created love to be one of the greatest things to give and recieve. i think God is so excited about love that he cannot help but be a part of it. every single act done out of love, God is involved. to me the phrase God is love not only means that he loves us a whole bunch, it also means that when someone shows you love to you and you show love to them God is present. this thought to me is completely overwhelming. i'm going to write a song about it because i write songs when i experience something that is overwhelming. if i put it to song it can live on in my mind even longer.

other than that life has been pretty normal.
i really enjoy my classe.

i am in the play this semester and that will prove to be a great deal of work.

have a nice day my little blogglings.

now hang me up to dry, you've wrung me out to many times

2007-08-31T08:37:00.000-07:00

i am a dordt student again. it has been going pretty well.
i have not blogged in a long time so i will give a brief update in short form.
my car broke down when i left for dordt. i was only 10 miles from town so i was saved by my father. i have my dad's car for now.
when i tried to write the big dordt check i saw that i had no checks in my check book. this lead to scrambling around trying to find my filing box which was in the house i moved out of. i paid for dordt sueccesfully.
i have been doing the class thing.
ojk played a show last night.
for some reason after the show i was really zoned out and still kindof am.
i am going to see family force 5 at lifelight tonight. pumped.
i tried out for the play and have a call back this afternoon.
thats it in short form.
come back later for more fun and excitement.

all i want is a little place of my own where i can rest my head.

2007-08-14T17:56:00.000-07:00

i am listening to a band called i am miss america. it is a terrible shame that they are no longer a band because they make some sweet music and put on a relentless live show.
i am currently in my last full week of full time work. kindof sad.
i've been writing a lot of new songs. mostly guitar stuff. i am trying to combine all the music i listen to and put it into one song.
i'm suddenly at a loss for things to blog about.

dordt starts soon. i suppose i'm excited about that.
how about this weather huh? it's just crazy.
(i'm making blog small talk to try to remember what i wanted to say)

well i have wasted about 5 minutes trying to remember what deep intellectual mind blowing thing i was going to say.

wish me better luch next time.

i'm finding out, that the easy answers won't suffice anymore

2007-07-30T23:04:00.000-07:00

this weekend was very positive.
ojk played a show on friday. we played with okra and the blend. the blend was basically a hip hop band. they were pretty neat and caused a lot of white people to dance like white people dance. i felt that ojk was well recieved and i walked away from this show feeling very good about the band.

yesterday i went to warped tour and i could probably blog about it for a long time but i will only hit the highlights.
family force 5. killer. that band requires attention. their sound was not that great and was kindof covered up by escape the fate. i was very mad at escape the fate and wanted to show them my middle finger but then remembered that pretty soon they will realize their music is bad and that will be punishment enough for them. family force 5!
paramore put on a very fun very positve set.
mxpx. heck yes. i finally got to see these men play their music in front of people. we were very close for their set and i had so much fun. they took requests at the end which made their set even neater. once they concluded their set i went and watched the graduate play and i noticed that mike of mxpx was talking to some people. i conveniatelly timed my departure from watching the graduate and just so happened to see mike and shake his hand and thank him for making good music. it was gnarly.
another high light was seeing new found glory. you can laugh at me if you would like but they reminded me of a time when i could not grow a beard. i felt like i was 14 again watching them play with such vigor. they only played one song of their new album which was a good idea.
bummer of the day: i was watching bayside and noticed that big d and the kids table was playing near by. i wanted to see a small portion of their set and walked up and stood on the outskirts. i was standing next to an attractive female who turned out to be meg from meg and dia. i didn't realize it till some awkward kid came up and took a picture with her. she disappeared shortly after that. i then went back to watch bayside slightly bummed, but bayside's music quickly lifted my spirits.
a good day. a very very good day.

i have been reading the irresistable revolution and feel crappy because of all the stuff i have.

i am not looking forward to moving out of the house i am in now. not at all.

(this is where i would have put my warped tour pictures but i gave my camera to my sister and forgot to take my parents old one. oops)

who let you let this feeling die.

2007-07-24T07:53:00.000-07:00

i just returned from my pigrimage home.
i would rate this as one of my favorite trips home ever.
thursday i pretty much hung out and got lemonade from my cousins lemonade stand. he gave me a good deal.
saturday ojk and tba came down and we had many many laughs. i forget about all the small little things that are strange about my home town that i never noticed. for instance stinky's bar and grille. totally normal. i have consumed food there many times but to an outsider that is a pretty funny name for a resteraunt.
ojk and tba and the freshmen hung out for a while and then it was show time. we had a good sized crowd considering the short amount of time this all came together. the freshmen took the stage and got the crowd sufficiently pumped. they are already a good band. the benedict affair absolutely owned the crowd that they had never played for before. everyone was into their music. ojk too the stage and put on a solid set as well. it was so much fun performing for a crowd of people who already knew me and were excited about the music. piper came from her home town, that was gnarly. i got to play celebrate life in front of grandma rosie.
post show we went back to my house and made a fire. all the bands hung out and then erin brought some friends over. i felt like the high school kids were observing us college kids on our natural enviornment, but it was fun.
i went to church on sunday morning and made my way home.
i came home early thinking ojk would be played on the radion round 6 or 7. i was lied to. the radio program did not begin until 10. all the kids at the niessink home were excited about hearing our band play and they couldn't. i was very mad.
now i am back in my boring routine.
i just made coffee and am going to go zone out in the living room.

sweet Jesus i swear that i love you

2007-07-14T08:39:00.000-07:00

i'm exhausted.
ojk played a show last night and it was a great success. we played in hull iowa with some new bands and i think we made some new fans. the only down fall was walhof approaching the mic and dropping an f bomb in front of people who have never heard us before. we had a good talk as a band about it and hopefully it won't happen again. i got a good chance to mingle with our new crowd trying to get our cd sold without being a jerkhole. i sold a cd for an empty bottle of pop. great success.

on tuesday i went with kenny and walhof and saw maylene and the sons of disaster in omaha. aslkdjav;bnajeoiva. that is the only way i could think to express how i felt. it was so so good. while he is legend was playing me and kenny noticed that walhof had not come in from his smoke break and we decided to pursue him because more than likely he was doing something awesome. sure enough there stands walhof standing next to dallas taylor the lead singer of maylene. apparently walhof walked right up to him and asked him why he was a Christian. he told us everything. it was incredible. his perspective on being in a band really made me want to change my attitude towards being in a band myself, and i have. he talked to us about how he could be at home with his wife and his kid but he is so convinced that God will work through their music eventhough the lyrics aren't explicitly Christian. i want to feel that convicted.

ojk is playing a show in aplington next week saturday. i have been contacting tj out the waz to try to get the stuco center booked but he has not returned phone calls. basically i don't know where we will be playing but it wil happen.

i recently made the purchase of a cd by a band called manchester orchestra. they were not billed to me as a Christian band but some of their lyrics are so spiritually challenging that it is eery.

i just finished reading the book simply Christian by nt wright. i borrowed if from roomate kris walhof and i would recomend it to anyone who has a soul.

i have had heartburn a lot lately. i don't know why but i am guessing work related stres may be the culprit.

that is pretty much all i can think of at the moment.

can we take the next hour and talk about me

2007-06-30T21:09:00.000-07:00

i'm tired and a little bit burnt out.
in my current occupation we have what we call a turn around shift. that means that you work until 10:30 pm and then have to come back in at 6:30 am. tomorrow will be my second one in 3 days.
we also had a little bit of a scare at the old neissink home, but i don't want to go into that.

other than that this summer has been pretty gnarly. i don't do a whole lot, i basically sit around and write songs. i have not been completely lazy. i do go for pretty regular bike rides and the other day i decided to yog. but i am writing a lot of songs and actually kindof reading.

i went camping last weekend and it was truly a delight.

i totally stole this from piper but i found it entirely entertaining.

Create Your Own PaloozaHead - Visit Lollapalooza.com

some mornings when i wake up my room smells like urine. i wake up terrified thinking omg i just wet my bed. after a careful inspection my bed is not wet and said urine smell cannot be located. i can only determine that there is some creature that urinates outside my window occasionally which pisses me off (pun).

today i tried to replace my rear view mirror in my car after a year of driving without it. i failed for the second time. anger etc.

i hope to go to the warped tour later this summer. very excite

i don't really have much else to say for myself.
picture of camping

somehow everything's going to fall right into place.

2007-06-13T19:15:00.000-07:00

it has been so so long since i have posted.
rather than attempt to go over all that has happened i will give brief summaries.

work is going well and i am enjoying my time.
spiral macaroni is completely kick pants.
i played a show as the benedict affair's stand in guitarist and had a good time. (i think walhof is still a little mad)
ojk has 2 new songs both of which rock electronically.

those are the highlights of the past few days/ weeks.

in other news 3/4 of ojk went to sioux falls the other day. i purchased a mandolin and i love it. paul purchased a banjo and i love it. we are playing folk music. happy times.
to hear what i have been up to i will direct you to the link to your right that says my music. a will be posting a new song soon. there you can find a little song i wrote incoporating acoustic guitar, mandolin, banjo, and my voice. the lyrics are simple and not that great but it is a 2 minute gem of mediocre stringed instrument playing.

well it had been so long since i posted and that is all i have to say. embarrasing.

now that i have you may i use you as a muse and keep you up all night

2007-05-25T18:10:00.000-07:00

i have moved into my new residence. as of 4 am this morning i have moved into the town house in sioux center, but more on that later.

rep tour went extremely well. i am absolutely amazed by all the things that went right.
here are some things that went right:
no one got mad at eachother.
i did not loose patience with anyone.
the piece we wrote was recieved amazingly.
all the workshops my group led went spectacular.
i bought the movie magnolia for $10.
i didn't feel like the tour was oppresively long.
i did not totally hate riding in the van.

here are some highlights.
1. we performed our big piece that we wrote for high school students at teresa's church. the average age could not have been above 50 in the audience. the piece we were performing could definetly be taken the wrong way. we performed it as a part of their evening service. the reception to the piece was amazing. everyone in the church truly appreciated what we were doing and we had great discussions about what we were doing.
2. tj and i stayed with a family that lived right on a lake. there was a very nice trail so tj and i decided to go for a walk. we were gone for about 45 minutes. as we turned the last corner before the house we saw people with flashlights who were saying our names. our host family thought we were lost and was looking for us. they sent their grandfather who was visiting out in a van to find us. we were embarressed. i can't spell.
3. staying at micha schurmaan's house i again can't spell.

this is a very brief summary, but typing more about it would bore me and i have no doubt that it would bore you the reader.
the tour was a very positive experiece.

today we had to get up at 7:30 to unload the trailer and i have been awake since. i got 3 hours of sleep.
but i am living in my new residence.
today was really laid back and i loved it. walhof and i played donkey kong and there was much anger and laughter the throwing of controlers.

i start work on monday.
yuck.

i can tell by the way your standing, the nights about to get a whole lot sweeter.

2007-05-06T16:43:00.000-07:00

well no one even guessed on the last guess the lyrics game. it was saves the day. two demerits for everyone who didn't even try.
here is a more challenging one. try if you dare.

it is sunday which i call blogday, if i haven't blogged in a long time.

this week was pretty low key. i didn't do homework and we performed our rep tour piece. the performances went well.
i would like to use this blog to explaing how beautiful yester day was.
my day started at 5:30 am. i had to go in a job shadow again. the only other living thing awake in my apartment was a fly and for some strange reason said fly made it it's personal job to piss me off. i told him that i would not bring harm to him, a2 is a big place and we can coexist for now. he did not listen to my warning so i violently killed him.
job shadowing was pretty neat. i took away points for the first time and began to establish the fact that i will be fun with the boys but will be tough when i have to.
once work was done we did another rep tour performance. i screwed up the names in a scene and we all laughed and everyone informed me that i should not do that again. i have taken their advice to heart.
on the way back from the rep tour performance there were high winds that threatened to take me to oz. i refused their offer and battled this wind all the way back to my appartment. upon arival to my apartment i was reminded that we were having people over for a meal before the dance. i was slightly embarrased but very pumped to throw down again.
this is a picture of people at the dance party. yes i am wearing a bandana and will do so more often. again jeremiah and i decided haste the day would be an appropriate dance number and we threw down in our kitchen. i can now officially say that i have moshed in my kitchen. people were terrified and stood around the permiters of the room and pretended to not enjoy it. my parents are probably so proud of me. once everyone had sufficiently cleared out and jeremiah myself and a few others danced about to maylene and the sons of disaster the dance was over.
at the time it was raining pretty hard and i decided it would be most fun to go outside barefoot and enjoy the rain. the rain let up slightly so a group of us decided to walk to shell and get cigars. we were so close to shell when the rain became intense. it was raining cats and dogs and they were biting. we turned around and enjoyed the rain. upon our rearival to dordt we decided tea sounded nice. a few of us wild spirits decided to go find big puddles and engage them. puddles were found and enjoyed. truly a beautiful experience. running around in the rain is in my top 5 things i have done at dordt college
we returned and made our appartment smell of rain and moldy things.

i removed my shirt and people were impressed.

i have decided that i am going to live a very simple lifestyle this summer. i hope to be outside more often wear cut off jeans, smell, be barefoot and not watch tv. i think it will be a good time. i might even pick up a souther accent, i haven't decided yet.

so here i am, don't know how to say this...

2007-04-29T10:14:00.000-07:00

let's play the game again where you guess where this quote comes from. i like this game. remember there are eprops and cool points at stake.
2 eprops and 25 cool points to dad who attempted to answer the last guess that band quote on the last post.

i feel as if a great burden has been lifted off my back. the real inspector hound is over. we had three great shows. to all those who showed up at 10:30 on thursday night... thank you. that was the perfect audience for opening night. my mom and my sister and both sets of grandparents came down yesterday to see the show and i was very appreciative. i love my family so so much.

ojk played again on friday night at the justice jam. i had a load of fun playing. we ended up selling around 20 cds which makes me much happy. we played a new song and karma had its way with us. i accidentally sent my guitar flying through the air and was unable to catch it before it hit the ground and paul broke a string all while playing the new song. o well. it was sweet and my guitar is ok.

yesterday we finished up the real inspector hound and striked (correct usage maybe struck, i'm not sure) the set and proceded on to perkins. going to perkins with the cast after a show is always o so much fun. i love unwinding after acting, it is on my list of top 100 things. i just made up this idea of a list of top 100 things, but i think i am going to stick with it.
immediately after perkins walhof jeremiah kenny and myself went set out to find a movie theater that was playing aqua teen hunger fors colon movie film for theaters. despite me becoming more than angry with sioux city and crying out because of the lack of parking and craziness of the streets the theatre was found. i literally chuckled for 1 hour and 30 minutes. i found it immensly entertaining.

this morning jeremiah and myself particpated in the 24 7 prayer for dordt college. it was a very neat experience. basically at least one person has been in a room praying for dordt college all week long. i am very glad i participated.

i start job shadowing for my summer job tomorrow. i am a little nervous, but i will get over it.

to conclude i would like everyone to know that i just got my first A on a theology test.

this photo is funny.

the ones that carry never back down

2007-04-22T20:11:00.000-07:00

those kids play with passion.

playing on saturday night was probably one of the best things that has ever happened to me. we were told that it was one of the best sets we have ever played and i would attribute that to one thing. we decided to pray before we played our set.
musically i played all sorts of things wrong, but we played the hardest we have ever played in our entire lives. thanks to everyone who came to watch us and bought the cd and rushed the stage when we were done, best feeling ever.
a face for radio a voice for silent film is now available for purchase. conctact us in some way if you desire a copy.

friday night i went with a group of comedy leaguers and performed for pella Christian's after prom party. we did a short show early in the night that went ok. the only characteristic that they wanted to see us act out was terrets. we politely declined. we then played a show at 2 am. i was tired, but i would consider the show to be a great success.

i woke up this morning sick. i still feel sick and it isn't very pleasant.

i have a big presentation tomorrow morning and once that is done i will be a happy man. it was one of those assignments that we have had for so long that it just hangs over your head.

for ten points the title of this blog comes from what band.
hint #1, jeremiah just bought their cd because he was in sioux city. he literally has no money but still felt compelled to purchase it (2 eprops to jeremiah to throw it back to the crappy xanga days)
hint #2 they are the only band whose name i have capitalized in my blog ever.
that was a fun game, i'm glad you played.

aside from the mystery band i have been listening to a band called 1997 who are apparently laura's friends.
i like.

you've got that seed in you

2007-04-15T09:22:00.000-07:00

so lately i have been keeping a raging ball of stress hidden inside me. i don't get really mad very often, but when you combine stress and me letting people down an ugly side. i don't like being angry and stressed and on top of that feel like i'm letting people down.

i am currently in 2 different plays and it is making me panic. i seriously have not done any homework over the last 3 days because i have been so busy with the show. stress.

that is all in the way of complaining, people don't need to read about it because i do it enough in real life.

other than stressful things i have been enjoying my life. ojk finally practiced again. it was the first time since we recorded our cd and songs did not go terribly well, but paul wrote another new song and i am a big fan of it. we are playing shows the next 2 weekends and there is much excitement in the air. we are hoping to have the cd ready by this saturday. i have been burning cds like crazy so hopefully it all comes together.

i have been having a lot of good conversations about theology and Christianity in general. i'm starting to develope a new sense of what it means for me to be a Christian. all the struggles i have been having are starting to get resolved and i am excited about what is happening in my life. i am no longer afraid to go into the ministry and am starting to figure out what i want to do. it is good feeling.

i have blog syndrome as i am now going to call it. i have all these good things to say and then i forget them when it comes time to share them with the world wide interweb.

i did finally get my physical done for my occupation this summer. i also got a shot. i wanted to kick chair very hard because i hate shots so much.

time to continue work on lines and stressful things.

2007-04-04T21:42:00.000-07:00

i am currently drowning in a pool of new music. jeremiah jake and myself decided to take a little trip to acquire as much new music as possible. we came away with the following cds:
jake bought the almost- souther weather
jeremiah bought lovedrug- everything starts where it ends
and i boughtthe academy is...- santi along with haste the day- pressure on the hinges.
sadly i was not able to pick up MAYLENE AND THE SONS OF DISASTER (the only reason this is capitalized is because yelling their name is the only appropriate way to tell of them). i was pissed that i did not come away with that cd, but haste the day has sufficed my need for loud explosive music.

i remembered this past weekend why i enjoy being a sound man. i ran sound for peasants big show in the bj haan and they were nothing but a treat to mix for. they listened to me when i asked them to do things and trusted that things were sounding fine in the audience. they allowed me to do what i had to without making stupid requests and the show sounded great. it was a great experience and i hope to work with them again.

i have decided to not complete this blog till tommorrow at some point so hold on:

i realized today exactly how busy i am. i have been trying to schedule a physical for my new job and cannot find a single afternoon that will work for them and me. i have been trying for a while now and it shows no sign of figuring itself out.

busy.
i have decided that i am no longer going to stress out about the play because it is just for fun. no one is getting credit for it, it is just for fun. i am going to put everything i can into this play, but i am not going to stress out about it because i want it to be fun.

it kindof makes me very happy

2007-03-29T13:13:00.000-07:00

i would like to start by saying that i hate global warming for 2 reasons
1. it tried to bypass the nice cool months of spring and go straight to summer. several days it has been up around 75 degrees and that makes me sick. i love the sweatshirt and jeans weather and get upset when it gets hot.
2. i dislike global warming because it's not real.

there are finally some new recordings up on myspace/purevolume. there is a link to the right of what you are reading that says ojk. i suggest clicking there. it will take you on a magical musical journey. the cd itself should be ready to go in a little while. we are still working on design stuff, but i can assure you all that you will want to put it on a pedestile.
while on the topic of music, i should announce that i have been writing some new acoustic stuff and could potentially record it soon. more details later

i have a lot of lines in this play that i have joined and am already overwhelmed. panic!

i should get a girlfriend because i plan on getting married at some point. it's not that i hate being single, i would just like to date someone. it would be low key, no pressure, just for fun. if you are this girl apply somehow. disclaimer: some applicants may be denied in the nicest way possible.

i lead songs in chapel this morning. i played guitar and was the lead vocalist. yep. i am trying to be more confident in my singing ability.

(any one who inserted the words "at the disco" after the word panic! in their heads should slap themselves on the wrist one time. i set a trap for you and you fell for it)

and i will conclude with this thought: go and listen to ojk and buy the album so that we can make it big and i can make enough money to survive off the band and when the band has run its course i will settle down with my wife and be a youth pastor somewhere. that is my current plan for life and without you all it would not be possible. so thanks in advance

great success

2007-03-24T00:56:00.000-07:00

i am very excite because at this exact moment i am listening to operation joykill's breakthrough release "a face for radio a voice for silent film" at least i think that is the title we agreed on. it sounds awesome. i can't wait for all you readers of my blog to hear what we just did in a studio setting. everything really does sound great. here is a recap of the last few days.
monday: i was still at home. i went to casey's dads visitation and it was pretty sad, but casey seemed to be ok. hats of to him for handling the death of his father so well.
tuesday: journey back to sioux center. we had a brief ojk practice and then immediately left for sioux falls to start the first day of recordings. we kicked it right in the butt. we finished the drum tracks as well as the bass tracks. hats off to phil and walhof for rocking with some consistency. i celebrated.
wednesday: this day had lazy spring break written all over it. we did not have the studio booked so i did pretty much nothing. i realized that my finger nails were uncomfortably long. all my roomates had taken their clippers with them. i went to wal mart because i really wanted to clip my finger nails. i located a clipper and took my usual stroll through the cd aisle. i found that the movie taledega nights was on sale so i made purchasings of that. i then went to the video store and rented magnolia because i have the option of watching it for a class. i laid on the couch and watched the movie. lazy day.
thursday: basically thursday was spent listening the the tracks we laid down on tuesday and finding all the little oopsies that we made and then fixing them. technology is amazing. you can do pretty much anything with that little computer thing. many parts were fixed with a few clicks of the mouse. some parts i had to replay but i had not problems with that. paul then did the same thing with his guitar parts and the started vocals. our good friend elliot was in the studio to offer us fun. we accepted his fun and it was had. we then went to a little concert. sparta and moneen and private drive were playing in sioux falls. the show started right around when we were done in the studio, a sign. we went. private drive was good. moneen was mind blowing and sparta was again lackluster.
friday: again we find ojk in cathouse studios. friday was pretty much vocals. for the first time in a long time i was nervous about doing something related to rock music. i am not the best singer, but i managed to amaze myself and i was able to lay down some good vocal tracks. paul is good. he only needed one take for most of the songs and they sound amazing. mike our super producer then mixed and mastered all the songs right before our eyes and we walked out of cathouse studios with an amazing product. here is the happy part. in total this whole project cost around $450. that is so much cheaper than we expected. now we just have to make copies and start selling them. recordings should be up on myspace/purevolume shortly so be sure to check those areas.
i then went to a midnight showing of the new ninja turtles movie which i will rant about later.
we then went to paul's to listen to our product and low it was very good.
happy times.

you can't go home again, you can't go home again.

2007-03-17T13:05:00.000-07:00

so much to blog about and so much time.
this is going to be a long one folks so hang on.

let us start with the show jeremiah walhof and i went to. i will be brief by saying that maylene and the sons of disaster and haste the day were amazing. everything i could have hoped for. it should be noted that the 2 Christian bands on the bill owned the crowd. i will aslo note that the rock in papillion (a suburb of omaha) is a fantastic place to see a show.

thursday morning i had a test in theo 216 and boy was i unprepared. it took forever and made me sick a little bit.
we had band practice thursday afternoon and i felt it was one of the best practices we have ever had. i got that feeling that i get when we play good songs for the first time on every song. so much energy in such a small room, we are ready for the studio.
immediately after i hoped in sir acura and started the treck home. my stop in pocahontas was pretty typical. i did stray away from purchasing the traditional sukist and ritz with cheese because i really wanted a moutain dew. for those who do not know my stop in pocohontas is very ritualistic. i always stop at the casey's and use the restroom and then purchase a sunkist and ritz with cheese costin me $2.48. i am boring sometimes.

i arrived home safely. a lovely chat was had with the familia.

friday i went to cedar falls with my sister to purchase some tougher guitar strings. i did. i put them on my electric guitar and was more than pleased. i then proceeded to break a string on my acoustic guitar. i was mad. i did not purchase strings for an acoustic guitar. luckily mom had an extra set and i put them on and was pleased.

here is where the poo hits the fan:
i recived a call from my good friend casey. i was thrilled because i thought he was going to be out of town. he was not as thrilled to be home. the reason he had returned was because his dad had passed away. this was not totally unexpected, but still a major shock. the real kicker is his mom died 2 years ago. he has pretty much lost all interest in Christianity and i am not going to force it on him at this time. i really don't know what to say or do, so we just hung out like nothing was wrong. we laughed and had a good time. please pray for casey, he needs all the help he can get. in a way this is another God thing. the one weekend i come home i am able to be there for my friend.
it still sucks a lot.

today i ate with my grandma and it was ever so pleasant. i am going to call her the cancer slayer. you would never know that she has something inside her that could kill her. she is recovering nicely and her attitude is unbelievable.

i really don't know what to say. there has been a lot of crappy things happening.
it is starting to seem like every time i go home weired unfun things happen. granted it is nice to be home for people when these sort of things happen, but it makes me not want to come home and just stay in sioux center where i can put these sort of things out of mind.
i am an adult now

i am listening to straylight run which is where the title comes from.

basically this is all band stuff, so if you aren't interested guide yourself to a different web page.

2007-03-11T16:44:00.000-07:00

march the 9th... what a night.
twas the night of the benedict affair's cd release show and all was cool, till the big bands that were coming decided to show up late. they showed up about 20 minutes before the show was supposed to start. because of this operation joykill was asked to move to second in the line up which was no problem for us at all. ojk rocked entirely hard. the new song i wrote was well recieved, i'm glad. private drive and write this down were insane. i really enjoyed their sets and them showing up late did not cause as many problems as we thought they would.
then came the benedict affair. the first note elliot strikes he breaks a string. halfway through the first song, kenny breaks his bass drum. we spent a very long time trying to find the other bands so we could use their bass drum (i was helping at this point because i am usefull). write this down's drummer was nowhere to be found but the decision was made to use his bass drum. apparently kenny puttin his toms on the bass drum caused a small amount of damage to it. elliot and kenny apologized so many times and the band didn't seem mad, they kept saying it was a respect thing. so whatever. it was a crazy night, and in the end everyone had fun.
last night i went to fort dodge as the benedict affiar's merch boy. i had a very good time, i love hanging out with those kids. my real mission was to try to spread the good word of ojk and try to get us a show in fort dodge. i talked to the kid who set it all up and i think it could potentially lead to a show. hopefully.
so ojk is recording and we have the studio booked, but we need to send in a $200 deposit. i have been holding off because i don't have enough money in my checking account right now. today i checked my mail completely forgetting all the hours i worked in feb. sure enough there sat a check for $230. on top of that my parents put exactly $200 into my checking account. this may sound cheesy, but it just reminds me how God provides. i really needed the money by tomorrow and he put it right on my lap. it also makes me feel a lot better about recording this cd.
i am listening to the benedict affair's new cd and it rocks hard. i love it dearly. purchase one if you haven't already.

20... and go

2007-03-07T12:45:00.001-08:00

so today marks the day that i shed my image as an awkward angry teenager. i can feel it already. i feel more intellectual i feel more attractive i feel as if i have grown more muscular and i feel like i an all around better person.
of course i felt all this happen at exactly midnight. it was an incredible moment.

i ushered out my teenage years by going to a concert, very fitting. i saw armor for sleep underoath and taking back sunday. i enjoyed myself immensly. i thought during taking back sunday's set, "what better way to usher out my teenage years than seeing the band that i loved in high school and listened to when i was depressed about a girl." there was no better way. every member of taking back sunday has more stage presence than i could pray for. they are a treat for the eyes. underoath is always intense and awesome, but i have seen them put on better performances. armor for sleep owned the crowd which totally surprised me. it was a great show to say the absolute least.

a picture of taking back sunday
(photo credit: jeremiah kats)

i returned to dordt college a new man. i had a test a t 9 am this morning which was a major joykill. i ended up staying up till 3:30 studying for it, but i feel that it was worth it. i planned on waking up early to study more. i set my alarm for 7 and somehow managed to disengage my alarm without even knowing it in the morning. that is scary. i woke up at 8 and had no idea how i missed my alarm. i hope that doesn't happen again.

so i am 20 now. time to get a wife.

this is one more late night basement post

2007-03-03T22:58:00.002-08:00

it is late at night/early on the sabbath. i don't know what time blogger is going to think i posted this but in my life time it is 1:01 am. well were to begin. sioux center recieved a good tail kicking by an authentic iowa blizzard. lots of things were closed, but did dordt cancel classes? haha i laugh at my own question, answer no. i trudged through 3 foot drifts to learn and use 50 minutes of my day to yawn and wish i was still asleep.
because of said weather we were forced to postpone the benedict affair's cd release show, but it has already been rescheduled for march the 9th. same time same place minus and yet. we are a little sad, but they will be unable to join in on the festivities.
speaking of ojk who was the number one band in iowa under the genre of garage rock?

o that is right. on friday march 2 ojk was the most listened to unsigned garage rock band in iowa.
i enjoyed this weekend. i watched turtles 1 and 2. i have not watched thos movies since i was a child and i would like to state that it was awesome! i completely forgot my extreme love for the teenage mutant ninja turtles.
i played volleyball for the first time in a long time today. i again pulled out my strategy of being very vocal and making the other team laugh and then slamming it down their throats. i use my lack of talent to my advantage. it is pure genious i know.
tonight laura had a dance party to celebrate her birthday. i had a very good time. the music played was more geared toward the rock and roll crowd which is what most of the group consisted of. i saw a cute girl there that i had never talked to and thought to myself, "hey self, you should talk to that girl i think you would like that." but then the other side of me that talks to myself says, "hey other half of me, are you crazy you aren't cool like that, you are just as much of a part of andrew voss as i am and he will listen to me and be a pansy and not say anything." and then i was like, "andrew you know you want to but it is just something you are not capable of," and all 3 parts of me finally decided to leave and watch turtles 2. i am a pansy. sorry to go all high school on you, but i kindof want to be in one of those situations where there is some mutual attraction but no pressure to hang out all the time. some day i'll grow up and make something happen...
but until then i will accept my role as the pansy and play it well.
i turn 20 in a few days. maybe i can let go of all my teenage awkwardness. maybe 20 will bring something new and exciting,
i will sleep tonight and dream of it.
good night.

the future freaks me out

2007-02-27T20:40:00.000-08:00

so i already typed this blog once and my computer totally locked up and i was very very mad.
i will start again and try to remember as much as i can.

it's tuesday, it's getting cold, and i'm in a pretty bad mood
bacically i think that i am feeling very tense again about my future.
there are several aspects of my future that are freaking me out
1. my future occupation. the way things are going now, i am going to be leading youth to Christ. this scares me in a big way. i do not feel prepared to tell children how they should and should not worship our Lord when i still don't have a good handle on it myself. lately i have been reading a lot about pastors getting burnt out because they care too much. i already feel burnt out and i have not even started my career.
2. the band. i love ojk and i love every member more than i can say, but i feel i have been thinking way too far into the future. the thouhgt of us disbanding within the next 2 years keeps coming to mind and it sucks because a lot can happen in 2 years. i am afraid that i will be the one holding the band back because i will still be in college and i don't want to drop out unless i am pretty convinced that it will work. i am living here this summer to pursue ojk things which transitions into...
3. my future away from home. i am a little kid at heart who hates being away from home. i feel like college is like a summer camp and pretty soon i will get to go home and remeber how much i love my family. well this summer i have decided to live in sioux center. my immediate concern getting a job. i have applied at hope haven and have not heard back from them yet. i am getting discouraged. concern number 2, living away from home. as stated earlier.
4. my future at dordt college. i don't know why this is a concern it is just something that comes up when me and my mind converse.

musical choice of the blog:
bad mood music of course: as i lay dying- shadows are security

p.s. for those who do not pay any attention to great things at all, shamrock won the white rapper show. i was pumped.

guess who has two thumbs and went and saw mewithoutyou in concert last night.

2007-02-23T10:08:00.002-08:00

this guy.

on a total whim jeremiah and i decided to purchase tickets and go see meiwthout you and sparta in omaha. we bought tickets on the internet and left 2 hours later.
it gets better. we managed to be right up front for mewithoutyou's set. i was spit on my aaron weiss.
it was pretty darn sweet.
jeremiah and i have finally fulfilled our goal of finding out about/remembering a show and going to it all in the same day.
i am proud of us, we are in college and we can do stupid college things like that.
here are some pictures.

photo credit: jeremiah kats.

and to make the whole thing sweeter, i got mewithoutyou's set list that they had on stage.

an ode to the boss ds-1

2007-02-22T13:47:00.000-08:00

ojk practiced the other night. we are working on a song i wrote and i am very self concious about it. i don't want to talk about it.
on an impulse i sold phil my old boss ds-1, the second guitar pedal i ever bought in my entire life (pedal one got stolen by some kid in high school. he showed up to school with it a few days after it went missing with a few knobs pulled off. it was clearly mine because i asked him where he got it and he said from bob's guitars, that was dumb because bob's guitars didn't carry that brand. i couldn't steal it back it was a huge moral dillema. he would not admit he stole it so i just let him have it. that was kindof stupid now that i think of it). i had been using the ds-1 since my sophmore year of high school. (one tear)

o ds-1 i miss you already
but we have grown apart and your sound was so trebely
serve phil well and distort his bass
i am sad to part, but it is for the best

that was a poem that i wrote for it because i was sad.

other things happened but i forgot. i think i need to keep a piece of paper in my pocket so i can write down what i did, because i do a lot of cool things that i want to retell, but i can never remember them.
i am listening to the new maylene and the sons of disaster ep and wishing i was in a dirt southern rock band.
der.

don't worry jus rhyme is gone

2007-02-20T15:03:00.000-08:00

today started off with some good news. as of late i have been enjoying the white rapper show on vh1. the only problem with said show is that it is on during comedy league. i was unable to watch the whole episode, but this morning i recieved word from elliot that jus rhyme was asked to "step off!" this is good news to me.
today i was sitting my one of my theology classes and i realized that there are some days that i am engaged in the lecture/discussion and other days that i do not care at all. it kindof sucks because i still feel like i am an idiot in the scholastic study of the Bible, but i have a hard time paying attention. enough of that.
i love going to comedy league. i love almost every single person that goes, with some exceptions. i feel like my improvisation skills have grown exponentially since high school, even though i chew my gum hard no matter what character i am playing (creighton, kenny, brecht) and that friends is an inside joke so those it does not apply to can read on and give it no more attention.
one thing i miss about xanga is the ability to show which cd you are listening to. i will find a way to work around this. but i do enjoy the ease of putting pictures into the post.
i put a picture of my house during christmas time in this post because i figured most people who read this have never seen my house, so there it is.
currently listening to:
jurassic 5. yep i'm listening to rap music.

the time has come for bigger and better things

2007-02-19T14:06:00.000-08:00

i have moved my blog to this blogging site.
i feel it is more mature than that piddly high school xanga crap.
take not all thos who have my xanga bookmarked or linked somwhere.
as my first act as a blogspotter i would like to show off a cute little photo i found of myself from tx.