no one cares if you have a target if you don't know how to shoot.

i came up with that title on my own.
i thought of it in the shower this morning. it is about people who think they are renegades because they rebel against corporate america when they have no idea what they are doing. they just run around all willy nilly thinking they are making a difference without taking time to think about their rebellion. it annoys me.

a great deal has happened since the last blog.
quick run down.
1. the movie me and elliot and kenny and dave and ben made took second place in the film festival.
2. i have been directing a one act play and that is going well.
3. played in storm lake with the benedict affair.
4. went home. got to see just about everyone i could have ever hoped to see. the only people i didn't get to see was my cousin cassie and aunt marion.
5. saw all my good friends from high school plus some.

that is a brief synopsis of the last few weeks.
last night ojk played in sioux falls with the blend.
the blend is a good band. we played in a bar, the crowd was pretty slim but we made several new fans. initially i was pretty bummed that no one was into our music but by the end of both of our sets we had a lot of people enjoying us. we recieved a great deal of positive drunken feed back and we appreciated it. i remembered again why i like making music.

so now i am back at dordt. no classes today but they begin again tomorrow.
hopefully i can get back in school mode for a few weeks.

you know very well who you are, don't let them write you off.

i have a big week ahead of me and so little motivation.
it's pretty lame.

we had ojk practice yesterday and we sounded good.
here is something that is bothering me. yesterday we recieved an email from an a & r company who said they were interested in our (ojk's) music. this is not a definite thing but they said that for some bands this is the first step to making it big. first of all this is not a guranteed thing and basically if we wanted to do this we would have to drop everything and pursue the band and even thn there is no gurantee that we will make it. so those are the given circumstances.
here is the thing. this is coming after the fact that we have all come to terms with the fact that ojk is ending.
there are so many things going through my head. i will express them in outline form
1. why couldn't this have come earlier.
a. if this could have come a year ago we could have taken this more seriously.
2. if this is real this is a dream come true.
a. i could make it in a band that i enjoy
3. is this real? there is no gurantee
4. i don't think ojk is capable of dropping everything. we don't have enough clout
5. do i actually want to be in a band for the rest of my life
a. yes i do. i love making music and i could be happy.
b. no, i don't know what i want to do
c. i don't know what i want in life.

those are just a few things that are running through my mind. add about 10 more complications to each thought and you have what is running through my mind right now.

and this all comes after we had all gotten comfortable with where ojk is going.

i need to pray about his more.