the future freaks me out

so i already typed this blog once and my computer totally locked up and i was very very mad.
i will start again and try to remember as much as i can.

it's tuesday, it's getting cold, and i'm in a pretty bad mood
bacically i think that i am feeling very tense again about my future.
there are several aspects of my future that are freaking me out
1. my future occupation. the way things are going now, i am going to be leading youth to Christ. this scares me in a big way. i do not feel prepared to tell children how they should and should not worship our Lord when i still don't have a good handle on it myself. lately i have been reading a lot about pastors getting burnt out because they care too much. i already feel burnt out and i have not even started my career.
2. the band. i love ojk and i love every member more than i can say, but i feel i have been thinking way too far into the future. the thouhgt of us disbanding within the next 2 years keeps coming to mind and it sucks because a lot can happen in 2 years. i am afraid that i will be the one holding the band back because i will still be in college and i don't want to drop out unless i am pretty convinced that it will work. i am living here this summer to pursue ojk things which transitions into...
3. my future away from home. i am a little kid at heart who hates being away from home. i feel like college is like a summer camp and pretty soon i will get to go home and remeber how much i love my family. well this summer i have decided to live in sioux center. my immediate concern getting a job. i have applied at hope haven and have not heard back from them yet. i am getting discouraged. concern number 2, living away from home. as stated earlier.
4. my future at dordt college. i don't know why this is a concern it is just something that comes up when me and my mind converse.

musical choice of the blog:
bad mood music of course: as i lay dying- shadows are security

p.s. for those who do not pay any attention to great things at all, shamrock won the white rapper show. i was pumped.

guess who has two thumbs and went and saw mewithoutyou in concert last night.

this guy.

on a total whim jeremiah and i decided to purchase tickets and go see meiwthout you and sparta in omaha. we bought tickets on the internet and left 2 hours later.
it gets better. we managed to be right up front for mewithoutyou's set. i was spit on my aaron weiss.
it was pretty darn sweet.
jeremiah and i have finally fulfilled our goal of finding out about/remembering a show and going to it all in the same day.
i am proud of us, we are in college and we can do stupid college things like that.
here are some pictures.




photo credit: jeremiah kats.

and to make the whole thing sweeter, i got mewithoutyou's set list that they had on stage.

an ode to the boss ds-1

ojk practiced the other night. we are working on a song i wrote and i am very self concious about it. i don't want to talk about it.
on an impulse i sold phil my old boss ds-1, the second guitar pedal i ever bought in my entire life (pedal one got stolen by some kid in high school. he showed up to school with it a few days after it went missing with a few knobs pulled off. it was clearly mine because i asked him where he got it and he said from bob's guitars, that was dumb because bob's guitars didn't carry that brand. i couldn't steal it back it was a huge moral dillema. he would not admit he stole it so i just let him have it. that was kindof stupid now that i think of it). i had been using the ds-1 since my sophmore year of high school. (one tear)

o ds-1 i miss you already
but we have grown apart and your sound was so trebely
serve phil well and distort his bass
i am sad to part, but it is for the best

that was a poem that i wrote for it because i was sad.


other things happened but i forgot. i think i need to keep a piece of paper in my pocket so i can write down what i did, because i do a lot of cool things that i want to retell, but i can never remember them.
i am listening to the new maylene and the sons of disaster ep and wishing i was in a dirt southern rock band.
der.

don't worry jus rhyme is gone

today started off with some good news. as of late i have been enjoying the white rapper show on vh1. the only problem with said show is that it is on during comedy league. i was unable to watch the whole episode, but this morning i recieved word from elliot that jus rhyme was asked to "step off!" this is good news to me.
today i was sitting my one of my theology classes and i realized that there are some days that i am engaged in the lecture/discussion and other days that i do not care at all. it kindof sucks because i still feel like i am an idiot in the scholastic study of the Bible, but i have a hard time paying attention. enough of that.
i love going to comedy league. i love almost every single person that goes, with some exceptions. i feel like my improvisation skills have grown exponentially since high school, even though i chew my gum hard no matter what character i am playing (creighton, kenny, brecht) and that friends is an inside joke so those it does not apply to can read on and give it no more attention.
one thing i miss about xanga is the ability to show which cd you are listening to. i will find a way to work around this. but i do enjoy the ease of putting pictures into the post.
i put a picture of my house during christmas time in this post because i figured most people who read this have never seen my house, so there it is.
currently listening to:
jurassic 5. yep i'm listening to rap music.

the time has come for bigger and better things

i have moved my blog to this blogging site.
i feel it is more mature than that piddly high school xanga crap.
take not all thos who have my xanga bookmarked or linked somwhere.
as my first act as a blogspotter i would like to show off a cute little photo i found of myself from tx.